Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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