I heard we made out
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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