Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize