Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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