So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
