how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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