I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
