I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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