i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
