Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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