she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
