He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
