i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
