it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize