he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
