should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
