so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
