not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
