hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
