Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
