well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
