But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
