I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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