Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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