just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
