Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
