So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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