The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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