I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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