He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
