He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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