Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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