Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
