you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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