So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
