I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
