let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
