Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're too hungover to prance.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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