My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
