Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
