he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
