i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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