hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
