Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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