She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you win again, gameday.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize