My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
