im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
