I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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