Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
