Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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