You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
