im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize