Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
