Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
