Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
