I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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