Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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