He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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