If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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