So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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