what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
