would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
