with your own penis?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize