Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
PANTIES FOUND
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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