i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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