Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
