Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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