I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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