Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So many bounce houses so little time
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
