The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
