ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
