you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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