I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
