East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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