Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
A+ Viking dick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
