its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need a beard to bite.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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