omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
