dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
