Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
