Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize