is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
