So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My ass is underappreciated
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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