Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
