I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
