Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
two words: eviction party
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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