I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
