I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
