Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Terrible idea I love it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize