is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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