I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
